Whopper of a Week

In between taking care of Brody and a few other things--and frustrations--last week, I just never had time to get on the computer and blog. Now that I'm thinking of it, I really don't remember much of what happened last week....?????

This mommy brain syndrome, as I like to call it, is getting worse. It just doesn't go away. Seriously! The day I pushed this kid out, I lost brain cells. And every day since, I continue to lose more. I honestly don't know how I function.

So how can I post about a week I don't remember? Oh, I documented it--with pictures.

You're welcome.

Monday

I was a train wreck Monday. I was frustrated with life and stressing out about everything, as usual. Brody had been a little bit of a rugrat that day spilling things, putting some stuff of mine in cups of water (don't ask!), not listening, falling down while I attempted to mop the floor (after I told him not to come in the kitchen)...

The entire day was a constant repeat of:
"Brody, NO!"
"Brody what did you do?"
"Brody, STOP!"
"Brody, I said don't do that!"
"UGH! Brody!"

SO, your girl was a total HOT MESS mentally, emotionally, physically Monday.

I did manage to snap these pics. Paying a bill on the computer lead to this mommy frustration. I walked into the living room and noticed some clothes were missing from his overnight bag which was open and empty. Apparently, someone (ahem, Brody) opened the door to let the dogs inside the house.

I walked outside and saw this... he even threw out a few shoes, including his SPERRY's. #whereareyourclothes #outsidemama #mondaymeltdown

(Don't worry our backyard is pad-locked so B can't get out if he hangs out outside.)

Tuesday

I went grocery shopping at Kroger with the kid (I normally wait to go when I don't have him, but we desperately needed food).

This small, kid-sized cart helped keep him involved. My child screams bloody murder if you put him in the cart, as he wants to walk everywhere. But having him as a "helper" (notice the quotes) slowed me down.

It took me about 2 hours to shop. HOLY BALLS!

About 20 minutes before we were finished, he stopped pushing his buggy.

Mom + 2 buggies + toddler = STARES

Super awkward.

The hardest part of the day wasn't grocery shopping though... it was unloading the groceries at home.

Getting the groceries from the car to the house, while trying to keep two dogs and a kid from escaping the house, was a challenge. Brody cried, the dogs barked and yapped and this mama almost cried. It took me 20 minutes to unload the groceries and then another 20 to put them up. And, I hadn't eaten lunch so I was extra moody. Despite him doing pretty well at the store (I tried to get him to participate and help mama shop since he won't ride in a cart any more), I won't take him to the store alone again for a while... #feedme #dontgotothestoreonanemptystomach #boughtthewholestore

Wednesday

Wednesday was pretty calm. I cleaned most of the day and met one of my girlfriends for lunch. It was nice to get out of the house for a little while.

I checked my blog since Brody was at my mom's house for the day.

I was truly amazed at the amount of response I'd received from Tuesday's post "The Mommy-Job Struggle." I was inspired by everyone's words and even had a few people share my blog to encourage others to read. That made this mommy feel pretty good. That was really tough post for me to write because I don't like admitting weaknesses. I've always felt there are people out there who would like to see me fail. It's a competitive world. However, despite my doubts, I was overwhelmed with the amount of words and support from my readers. Thank you to those who read, shared, commented and messaged me. Your words and thoughts were helpful and made me feel not so alone when it comes to my mommy/career situation. I hope some of you will share my blog with your friends. I'd love to continue this discussion as my situation may change in the future! #thankfulblogger #cleanhouse #wifeystatus

Thursday

Then there was that day of the week. The day that raised my blood pressure and caused me to have the emotional frustration/breakdown post Monday's meltdown. It wasn't as dramatic as Monday. I didn't really expand much on that Monday meltdown issue. I was just frustrated, tired, sad, mad, disappointed. You name it, I felt it.

But Thursday had been OK. Despite when I was about to finish that last load of laundry. Enter high BP.

I'd spent the entire day doing laundry and cleaning. Guess what happened? It was the LAST load of the day, so I tossed in my favorite yoga pants and clothes (I wear them all the time) in just in case my friend had her baby.

When it was time to toss them in the dryer I saw something odd.

FIRST, I pulled out headphones.
THEN, I pulled out a peppermint.
THEN, I noticed some tiny yellow pieces scattered everywhere and shredded pieces of red and white paper all throughout my washing machine.

YEP! It was gum. I really really F-ing hate gum. So much so, I totes used the F-bomb.

There wasn't one piece of clothing that managed to make it out without some gum on it. I called Klay and he got the brunt of my frustrations. I don't chew gum--like ever, ever, ever chew gum so I knew it was his. I spent the next two hours scrubbing clothes--#doublethefunmyass--with hot vinegar (heated to almost a boil via microwave) and a toothbrush. It worked folks!! Except on fuzzy fabric inside Klay's jacket. #sorryboutchabadluck

By the end of the two hours my frustration had caused my blood pressure to rise and I got a massive headache. To make up for his conundrum, the hubs did make dinner for me. He was trying to cook his way back on my good graces. Lucky for him, it worked.

Later that night, Brody (who is probably going to be a track star) was running around the house. Nothing out of the norm, but he was running back and forth from the living room to the kitchen and back again. This kid loves to run. He manage to run into the corner of the wall because he looks back at mom and dad to see if we are watching. He fell down crying. Instant purple knot surfaces on his head.

Two minutes later, he hops down from Klay's lap and heads toward the kitchen "Look where in front of you," Klay hollers at B, who is smiling at us while he runs to the kitchen.

BAM!

(Crying)

The kid ran into the side of the refrigerator. Sigh. 

#bprising #wrigleysyousuck #thisblowsbigtoes #Iknowthathurt #countingtheconcussions

Friday

I'd finally got the text I was waiting for all week about 4 a.m. Friday morning. The friend I had lunch with Wednesday was having her baby. She'd asked me to take pictures of the birth for her. So I'd been on alert since Wednesday (she had her doctor appointment after our lunch).

The doctor wasn't going to come in and check her until 7, so I had time to figure out what I was going to do with Brody. Her water hadn't broken yet, but she was having contractions and dilated to a 5.

Once I found someone to watch Bro, I got ready and left the house (I dropped Brody off on the way). On the way to the hospital, I received a text saying she was now dilated at a 8. So I stepped on the gas.


Once I got there, I was a nervous wreck. My friend, Brittany, was in good spirits. And we still had another hour or so til the baby arrived.

This experience was incredible to witness. The birth of a child is an amazing experience, and watching someone else go through the joy (and pain) of it reminded me of my birth with Brody. I can't believe it was two years ago. I'm not going to post the pics I took, as my friend hasn't seen them yet. But I'm crossing my fingers I'll be able to post a couple of shots (that I think are pretty amazing) of that beautiful day.

Miss Bradie Jay made her arrival at 12:43 p.m. This was the highlight of my week!

My sister even offered to keep Brody overnight. SCORE! So, Klay and I went to Kroger to get some BEER and came home to chill. I know we are lame. BUT! We were super tired. So we played "The Walking Dead" video game together and drank beer.

#beerfriday #babybirthfun #birthphotogstatus

Saturday/Sunday

Klay and I went to pick up Bro from my sister's house. I saw some crazy lady waving at my husband and my husband waving back while we were on the highway. I thought it was some crazy girl trying to hit on the hubs. But it was my crazy friend, Calli! #hollaatchagirl

Once we got to my sister's house, we played with Bro and Swayze and Presley (our nieces). We offered for them to come stay at our house. But the plan didn't pan out because Presley decided to go to her friend's house instead. She's only five and she already likes her friends more than us! LOL. I'm kidding. She loves me, but I don't blame her... Klay and I were tired and hungry #feedme... therefore kind of moody, so she essentially chose right.

Before we left though my kid managed to say hello to the concrete a few times. He was running (again); this time it was up and down the driveway at my sister's place. He skidded across the concrete injuring his adorable face for the UM-teenth time this week. #concretewon #thiskidhitshisheaddaily #doctoronspeeddial

On Sunday, Klay and I took Brody for brunch at Denny's. We went to Lowe's and then ran out to my parents to "borrow" some of their dirt and use it to fill around our house. Mom and I took Brody for a ride on the Ranger, which he loved.

And it was honestly just a beautiful day here in Texas. We finally got some great weather this weekend.

Klay and I spread the dirt, showered, cooked and sat down to watch one of our favorite shows, "The Walking Dead." If you aren't watching that show, you're crazy. It's the bee's knees, man. Netflix it, if you're not watching. It friggin' rocks my socks!

And, I love Andrew Lincoln. #rickgrimes #terminus #nospoilersfromme

It was the season four finale! I can't believe I have to wait seven months before season five airs.

Luckily, "Game of Thrones" starts this weekend! Eeek!!!!

So if I start randomly asking "Where are my dragons?" in my blog, or talking old English, it's because I think I'm from Winterfell! #donthate #dragons #starksforever

How was your week, last week? What hashtags could describe it?

Let's hope this week brings more time to blog!

Not So Happy Friday

My life in a nutshell. Dogs and Kids galore!

Sooooooo. I decided to break up these deeply sad and scary stories about Brody with a little recap of my day today. Get pumped, folks. It's a good one. I'm sure I will have you LOLing and wondering where the F my mind went. I'll tell you this, after this kid was born, I definitely lost brain cells.

So here it goes...

Today was an incredibly awesome day.

Cough, cough.

OK, OK I lied.... but since you can't hear me talk through these beautifully-written words on your screen, I have to tell you, that was sarcasm.

This glorious adventure started last night before bed. I noticed my fella with bad breath who always begs and whines at my feet had a swollen eye. To clear things up, I'm talking about one of my hairy wieners (I call them my weens), and by wieners I mean my dogs.

Ya, they're dachshund mixes. Well one of 'em is, the other is up for debate, according to the hubs.

Anyway, back to my weens...

His swollen eye before bed last night.

So Stretch was the one with the swollen eye. Klay and I investigated it, and he passed it off as possibly an insect bite or allergic reaction, but I wasn't convinced. It literally popped up out of no where.

It swelled quickly, probably in an hour or two. I knew it hadn't been swollen all day because this dog is always on me. I mean he is like a parrot and a leach. He's either sitting on your shoulder like a damn bird or slithering over to you to sit on top of you, clinging to your body as if his life depends on it. So, if something were to happen to his face, I'd see it because he's always up in my grill.

After some late night, googling "dog with swollen eye," I found an image that looked just like his eye situation. And BINGO! I knew what it was.

I had my "ah-ha!" moment not just from Google, but also because this dog has some foul breath, yall. He's needed his teeth cleaned for a long time, but we've never gotten around to it. Needless to say we'd guessed some time ago this dog may lose a couple teeth once we got him to the vet to get them cleaned.

The diagnosis: He has an abscess tooth; that's why his eye swelled up like he'd been punched in the face. So, basically he will need the tooth extracted or can get a root canal, if the tooth can be saved.

All up in my grill.

Been there, Stretch. I feel ya, bud. Had a root canal that went awry last year and it was not fun. I suffered from a series of unfortunate events that week. Face swelled up like a balloon, had an emergency oral surgery and Klay was gone for two weeks working. It was an especially unlucky week for me.

Seriously though, there is no pain like dental pain.

So, I scheduled a vet appointment early this A-M for Stretchie Man Jones. Yes, that's what I call him. I'm slightly obsessed with my pooches.

I hopped out of bed, put my war paint on (aka makeup), got dressed, ate a banana, popped Brody's microwavable pancakes in, put them in a bowl, fixed B a cup o' juice for the road, and then searched for the dog collars and leashes which were MIA. Apparently they have an invisible power of some kind because they were no where. Or! Maybe they walked away haha, get it!?I know, I'm lame, but whatevs.

So amidst the search, I realized I was running behind and I needed to get Brody up and dressed or we were going to be late.

Brody's up, dressed and voila! found the leashes in a plastic sack in the garage (they hadn't walked away), and I was on my way out the door with Brody and Stretch on the leash (he was the only one on a leash) locking the door on the way out.

Sounds pretty successful right?

If you're a dedicated reader of my blog, you should know better. Especially if I mention the word LOCK.

As soon as I shut the front door and walked out to my car, a lightbulb went off. KEYS!? 

WTF. Hand to the forehead. 

Seriously, yall, that just happened.

I don't know what it is with blogging and getting locked out of places, but when I blog this tends to happen A LOT. As many of you know, I locked my four-month-old-son in a car in Walmart parking lot almost two years ago. That was the first and only time I locked my keys in a car. Of course it was while my newborn babe was in it. Go freakin' figure.

One thing I didn't report via this blog was the time I locked Brody in the house in his carseat after the Walmart incident. Yep, that happened too.

How, you ask?

Mini-story time:
Um, Klay was away for the weekend working and I'm scaredy cat when it comes to being at home alone, especially with my kid. I play out scenarios in my head as to what I would do to make sure no one takes my kid or my dogs hostage and use them as leverage to get me to cooperate. I'm a complete basket case.

So being the chicken I am, I locked the door going out to the garage before bed, just in case someone smashes into the garage and comes through that door in the house. Well when I left the house with B and the dogs the next day, I went out the front door. When I came home (I was at my mom's for a family day), I unloaded Brody and the dogs entering through the garage forgetting I'd locked it the night before. I unlock the door with my key, go into the house and put B's carseat on the living room floor.

I lay my keys down on the table near my entry to go back out and grab the bags shutting the door so the dogs won't run back out. Then, I come back to the door and it's locked. I must've turned the key one too many times and relocked it while it was opening it, trying to get the key out. Luckily, my sister left mom's after me, and had a spare key. She stopped by and unlocked the house for me. But I was already a wreck, feeling like an idiot for doing this twice in a matter of months. I cried about it for a week.

So, back to today...

Luckily, Klay was down the street working so it only took him 10 minutes to get back home after I called to tell him what happened.

I called the vet office, told them the story (I got an "oh no!") and they told me to come when I could. I think they felt sorry for me.

Klay arrived opening the garage so I could get in. I grabbed my keys and came back outside to a laughing husband.

Hey, at least this time, I had the kid with me instead of on the other side of whatever I locked myself out of. And Brody was happy because being the awesome mom I am I didn't forget to grab the pancakes! That's the most important part of the story. 

Who needs keys!? We got pancakes!

Locked out. Waiting on Dad...

We did make it to the vet, only five minutes late or so. Stretch is scheduled to have the tooth extracted next week. I'll be dreading that day. Let's hope I make it out the door that morning with my kid and the dog in the car with the keys in hand.

All in all, guess who needs a bottle of wine!?!

Well, I hope everyone has a better Friday than mine. I'm officially flipping this day off, kicking my feet up and toasting to a weekend of relaxation. Well that's what I plan, but we'll see how it plays out.

Cheers,