Life with a Two Year Old

I wrote this post last week. For those of you who know me personally know that my grandpa passed away today. Since it's a sad day for our family, I thought I would share this post with you guys to maybe brighten the day a bit.

I'll have an update soon as to why I've been gone the past week. Short version: I've been really sick and went to the ER this week. I am better now. More to come on that later.

But needless to say it's been a really rough two weeks around here. So I apologize for the lack of posts and I'm trying to get back on track. Here goes a series of reasons why I normally go a little nutzo during the week.

--

There are days where I feel like I'm going to go crazy.

But you know that already with my lack of posts or posts lately complaining about my current life sitch.

Well, I thought I'd clue you guys in on why I honestly feel like I'm going a little nuts. Between playing "POW POW" and changing diapers (still in the diaper-phase unfortunately) and the mess that is my house (I blame my kid for that), life with a two year old is kinda crazy.

If I'm trying to do something, like put on my make up for example things like this happens...

This is what I call my life with a two year old:

"Mama, here you go!" Brody hands me a box of cherry tomatoes.

 "No Brody take it back" as I say as I apply my mascara.

"You don't want 'matoes? Heeere." He shoves them to my stomach.

"No baby, take them back where you got them."

"I don't want to mama."

"Take them back," I command.

He gives me a look like "I'm going to take them somewhere and make a mess" if you want me to do something with 'em.

I sigh and get up and grab the tomatoes back and place them higher up where he can't reach.

"Mama, I want 'matoes!!!" he cries.

Sigh.

----

"Brody, go put back the body wash," I say.

"I want lotion on," he replies.

"It's not lotion, honey, it's body wash," I say as I try to pay a bill online. He walks out with body wash and I notice it later in the day on the floor somewhere, but never find the time to put it back.

8 p.m.

"Brody want to take a bath?" I ask.

"I want take a bath!" he yells running to the bath.

I look around and realize the body wash is MIA.

"Brody where is your body wash?"

"Where the body wash go mama?"

The body wash cannot be found. And therefore is lost forever.

 Sigh.

----

"Mama, I throw lemon to you!"

Gasp! "No, no baby don't throw the lemon at me. Lemon will bust open. Take it back where you found it."

"You don't want me throw the lemon at you?" he asks.

"No we don't throw lemons. Go put it back where you found it."

"I throw it at purse?" he asks.

"No. Don't throw it at my purse." I laugh.

"I throw it at fan?"

"No don't throw it at the fan. It will burst."

"It will burssss?"

"Yes, now go put it up where you found it."

"Ooook," he says marching off to the kitchen. I follow him to see if he puts it back. He throws it at the bowl of lemons on a shelf and it falls to the floor.

"No don't throw it!"

"I put lemon back."

(Later on I discover why he wanted to throw lemons... Dada and Brody threw lemons at each other the day before... Mom was unaware.

SIGH.

----

The house is quiet. I hear no noise from a little two year old boy, so I know something is up. Unfortunately I have a massive headache so things that I'd usually care about, I don't at the moment.

But I needed to check on him.

"Brody what are you doing?" I ask sitting up on the couch looking over by the end table.

"I wiping nose."

I see all of the kleenex's on the floor as he sits in a sea of white tissues. Not one is left in the box.

"Brody!"

Sigh.

----

In the shower washing my hair when I hear...

"Mama, you taking a showah?"

"Yes I'm taking a shower."

I hear him walk out of the bathroom and reenter the room.

"Here!" he says.

I look down to him handing me my cell phone.

Gasp!

"No no baby take in back."

"You don't want your phone mama?"

"Thank you, but I don't need it. It will get wet and break."

"OK. I'll be right back."

Well that could have been worse.

Sigh.

----

Drying my hair and I hear "Mama, I poo poo."

Sigh

----

Life with a two year old isn't easy and kinda sucks at times, but he does make up for it--when he's sleeping.

HAHA I kid.

But the sleeping is always so cute. They are so calm, quiet and peaceful.

But most of the time, life is like this...

"Wanna go for a swim in baby powder?"

Hope life is a little less crazy for you out there in bloglandia,

Valentines, Schmalentines

For some reason I always dread Feb. 14. You'd think since the hubs put a ring on it six years ago, Valentine's Day would be a day to look forward to. Sure, it's a great day to shower each other with triple the affection--but to be honest--I feel like it's a waste of money.

I don't want to be one of those lame couples that say "we show each other we love them everyday." I feel like we do, more than most, but it honestly depends on the day. Some days it's more, some days it's less. But it IS every day.

Needless to say, our Valentine's Days aren't too interesting. Just a card--flowers maybe--of course a dinner date, but other than that we don't go nuts over it like we did before we were married.

I know, I know. How boring! But by the time I get in the chocolate-eating, flower-giving, stuffed-animals-that-say-I-love-you-spirit, it seems like it's a lot of hooplah over nothing. And those things get tossed in the can, before the next trash day anyway. OK, maybe not that fast...

It might be this time of year when the January Blues kick in that put me in a funky, foul, pitty-party-havin'-mood. BUT this year, with some positive and proactive pep, I wanted things to be different. I really wanted to something thoughtful for Klay that are from both me and Broman.

So, what better to do than take photos of Brody? It's been a hot minute since we had a professional photo shoot. This time though, I wasn't going to hire some hot photog to get the job done. I'd do it myself; makes it more personal, right? All we need was a few good photos of Brody, and maybe, if we're lucky I'll jump in a for a couple, print them up and BAM! instant gift solution and low-cost.

WRONG. This turned out to be a mess and it all started with me being sick and a misunderstanding with my mom.

I bought a few props from Hobby Lobby to stage a set for Brody. With his V-day "Ladies Man" tee and an old jacket that matched, the shoot was pretty much ready. Except, Mom had somehow mixed my V-day goodies with some of Brody's birthday party stuff (that she took home with her after a day of shopping) and now, I'm without props, I feel like poo and my photos were put on hold.

Countdown to a mommy meltdown, BEGINS...

Eventually mom ended up making it out to my house on the 13th to bring the props and take a few snapshots of me with the kid.

(Countdown to a mommy meltdown, phase 2) Once we were all ready, I decided to try to take some photos inside. Bad option. The hearts wouldn't stick to the wall. And, when they would stick my child would rip them off the wall and throw them down. Good times.

Due to bad lighting and a 2 year old's bad attitude, we decided to move this V-day fun outside.

(Countdown to a mommy meltdown, phase 3): This kid was not having it. By this time we were on meltdown #23:

When your kid doesn't want to smile for a pic, what do you do? Resort to deceitful tactics; you lie or you bribe. "Do you want a candy cane? OK, then smile for Mama." It would have been a lie, but leave it to GiGi to make me follow through on what I say. BUT....

Candy canes saved the day. I got a few good snapshots of a somewhat happy kid.

(Countdown to a mommy meltdown, phase 4): You know when you feel like you look pretty good, then someone takes a photo of you and you're like "I look like crap." Yeah, it was one of those days. Plus, my kid wouldn't cooperate. He didn't want to take pics with me, much less get photographed kissing mama.

I went inside and applied (much-needed) more make up to finish up our photo sesh. This is much better...

(Countdown to a mommy meltdown, phase 5): When I tried to wrap things up with Brody, I forgot I didn't get any photos with his jacket off, so we went back inside and attempted one last time. Someone wanted his jacket on. Meltdown #30.

This was the last meltdown I could deal with before I broke down myself. Later that night, I uploaded the photos to Walgreens in town thinking I would pick them up the next day while running errands to pick up last-minute items for a baby shower I was hosting on the 15th.

(Countdown to a mommy meltdown, phase 6): Next morning (Feb. 14), I go to Walgreens feeling worse than the day before with a cranky kiddo. I was debating on whether or not to go back to the doctor for the third time in two weeks, but I hated to take Brody into a sickly place when he was still on the mend from the week before. When I walked in to Walgreens to pick up my photos, I found someone working on the BROKEN machine.

No, my photos hadn't been printed.

And, no, they wouldn't have it fixed any time soon.

No, they couldn't transfer my photo order to another store.

SOL, lady. So much for your V-day. No wonder I hate this holiday.

Needless to say, I walked out crying and called my mom.

I eventually calmed down, got some food, downloaded the Walgreens app and figured out I could send my already uploaded photos to another Walgreens nearby.

I went to Walmart to pick up a few things, meanwhile Klay comes and scoops up Brody for me so I can finish my errands. He even takes some of my other to-do's off my list so I can focus on my Valentine's gift for him; I love that man.

I finally get to Walgreens and pick up my order only to find they have lines on them. They'd ran them through three times, and when I complained they did it again, but they didn't improve much. I did get them for half off. Pretty much the only pro of this whole story.

By the time all my errands were done, it was 6 o'clock and Klay was already home. We were going to be home with the kid, so no romantic time for this couple.

I had to send him outside to decorate his gift. But when I walked in I was welcomed with flowers, cards and apple pie and ice cream from my two men.

Klay bought apple pie and ice cream to remind me of our favorite day from our 17-day trek home from Alaska in 2011. We were in Gold Beach, Oregon at a small restaurant eating the most incredible homemade apple pie with ice cream looking out at seals who sat on the dock just outside our window. It reminded me of a better, less stressful day. He did good.

Maybe Valentine's Day isn't so bad. Ah, who am I kidding? It still sucks...

Until next year,