Boy or Girl?

One of the most exciting things during your pregnancy is finding out if you're having a boy or a girl. For me, already having a boy, I feel like I'm a boy-mom at heart. I've never really been super girly, grew up as a tom-boy and I don't even know how to paint my toenails and couldn't braid my hair if I tried.

I mean most girls watched movies like Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast--princess movies--but my favorite movie was Beetlejuice.

I know. I suck at being a girl.

But needless to say, when you get pregnant, you have no choice on your baby's gender. It's all based on who's the fastest swimmer.

SO anyway, I had my second sono scheduled at 12 weeks. Since it was so early, but I was almost out of the first trimester, I was unsure whether or not I would be able to find out what we are having.

Everything I read online said at that time during your pregnancy, the boy and girl parts look pretty much the same. It wouldn't be until week 13 or so that they really start forming enough to be able to tell what it is.

But at the sono, the sonographer said she was 95% sure what we were having. Klay was unable to come to the sonogram because he was working, so I asked her to put the gender in an envelope for us to open together when he got home.

Little did I know that we'd have a surprise waiting for us in that envelope.

I was determined it was going to be a boy.
Klay thought it was a boy too.
And, we both actually wanted another boy. Plus we have everything for a boy.

But when I pulled out a pink card that said it was a girl, my mouth fell to the floor and my reaction was "oh shit."

I mean I'm an emotional mess about 95% of the time. Could you imagine adding another female like me to this household?

OH LORD.
It would be batshit crazy.

Don't get me wrong; there are plenty of great things about having a girl. We would have one of each and experience both sides of the fence (boy and girl). Girls have the proms and the weddings and all of the fun dress-searching activities. I was a cheerleader (which is the only girly thing I really got into) and softball player growing up, so I'd love to do all of those things with a girl. But I feel like girls are more emotional than boys. I mean we are the ones that get a monthly gift once a month that puts us in a foul and funky mood.

Honestly Klay and I were a tad bit disappointed it wasn't a boy. But the sonographer did tell us that it' was so early, she could be wrong so "don't buy anything yet."

We told our families and everyone experienced that same reaction--shock--but some were especially excited it was a girl. I had to tell them they'd have to wait to purchase items for the baby until after our 20 week sono confirmed it.

Though I wasn't 100% sure it was a girl, my mind was certainly adjusting to the idea of having a girl. And when I was pregnant with Brody I had a ton of options for girls names and very little for boys. So I was excited that I felt it would be a lot easier to choose a name for a girl. Klay and I had a girl name picked out for about 7+ years or so and it's always stuck with us.

The more I thought about it, the more I adjusted to the idea of having a girl.

So here we are; I'm 20 weeks pregnant and had my sonogram yesterday.

The main thing we want is a healthy baby. With my constant nausea, my high blood pressure, anemia, and the low PAPP-A hormone, which could mean my placenta could start to give out and I could have this baby sooner than my due date, I just wanted this baby to be healthy.

And from the report from the specialist doctor I have to see regularly now (and have regular sonos), this baby is on the right path. Healthy looking spine, brain, heart etc. That makes me feel much much better! Check out this video that confirmed it!

Yep.

For

8 weeks

we

thought

girl.

Because of that 12 week sono, I wasn't going to be surprised to hear girl, but Klay and I saw the little boy parts and we were surprised once again!!

Now, back to the drawing board on boy names. This kid will probably be born with no name. Seriously. Boy names are hard! I found out I was having a boy when I was pregnant with Bro at 11 weeks (due to a blood test that's 99% accurate) and I didn't finalize his name until 27-28 weeks.

But we are so excited that everything looks to be on the right track for now. The specialist doctor reassured us that there is 85% chance everything will go OK and the placenta will stay strong til the end, and there is a 15% chance that it will start to weaken before I'm full term. That made me feel a lot better. And my doctors are monitoring me closely to make sure that everything goes as it should.

If only I could kick this nausea to the curb...

Because of all my sickness and issues this pregnancy, I have a feeling this boy is going to be TROUBLE! Only time will tell.

Until next time,

How I found out I was pregnant...again

If you haven't read my first pregnancy stories, you should do so here and here. Because some of the things I say may confuse you had you not already read them.

Let me start off by saying this was just as much as a surprise as our first.

We weren't trying. We were definitely practicing, but we weren't trying to have a second child just yet.

Let me just jump right in.

Ok. So what was the tell-tell sign this time? Sore boobs. Late period. The usual.

I did pee a lot but I already pee a lot so not a huge difference there.

I'd honestly thought I was pregnant earlier this year, but it turned out I was just late or completely forgot when my last period was and I thought I was late, only I was really on-time.

Needless to say, because of that scare, I was pretty sure I was just thinking I might be pregnant and then it would turn out I was wrong... again. I remembered I had two pregnancy tests stashed away from earlier this year, so early Saturday morning on Memorial weekend, I got up before the boys and took the test.

I was thinking "take the test, it will say negative and you can relax."

What I wasn't expecting was for it to come back and say "Nah, bitch you pregnant." Ok it really didn't say that, but that's what it felt like.

I had the Clearblue tests that reads "pregnant" or "not pregnant". But after"pregnant" popped up on the tiny screen--and my heart fell into my stomach--a little timer on the side was still blinking like it wasn't finished calculating.

I sat there and waited.

"Maybe the 'not' will pop up," I thought.

PSH.

Little did I know I purchased the test which calculates how far along you are. Once the timer quit blinking, "2-3 weeks" showed up on the screen...

I sat on the floor and stared at the floor.

Klay was clueless, asleep in our bedroom. This time, unlike the first, he had no idea I was taking a test so I was a little nervous about how he'd react.

The timing didn't seem quite right to be pregnant again, but I suppose it never does.

I decided to take the second test, just to be sure. I mean I know if it says you are, you are. And if it says you're not, you still could be, but I thought "just take the second one, might as well."

So, I did.

Same result.

YOU'RE KNOCKED UP AGAIN.

I just sat and cried in disbelief. I just didn't feel I was ready.

I was trying to get back on track with losing weight and trying to find a job. And, this just complicates things again.

Plus, Klay and I had gotten into a little tiff the night before over something dumb like the dishes. Normally we hash things out before going to bed. It's kind of one of our "rules," we try not to go to sleep angry. But I was freaking tired and didn't feel like talking about the dishes so I fell asleep.

So I wasn't sure how he'd react the next morning.

Meanwhile, I tried to think of a clever way to tell him I was pregnant. So I decided to make breakfast and coffee before he got up and thought I'd write it on his coffee cup. Clever enough for short notice.

So I wrote "2nd White Baby on the way! Drink up!"

He got up when he heard me moving around pans in the kitchen.

The first thing he did was hug and kiss me--a sign to show me he'd moved on from the night before. I felt my shoulders relax with relief.

I made pancakes and had some fresh fruit on the side.

I had to tell him I made coffee and already had a coffee cup sat out for him. I turned it so the message I wrote on the cup was away from him.

But before that he asked me if I wanted coffee and I said "no." And then when it came time to eat,
I told him I'd eat in minute and that I wasn't that hungry.

And he picked up on the strange vibe I guess.

"What's going on with you? You don't want coffee or want to eat? Should I be worried? Did you poison my food?" he laughed, joking about our argument the night before.

"Well I do watch a lot of 'Snapped,' but I wouldn't poison your food, it would be too obvious," I said trying to play it off.

"I'll eat," I said. "Just don't give me those two pancakes on the top. Those are for you," I joked.

Since our kitchen table was still outside we were eating on the floor.

It took him about 45 minutes to notice the message on the coffee cup.

I was waiting to see how he'd react. I had my phone ready so I could grab and record when he finally noticed the message.

Since his first words were "WTF" when we found out I was pregnant with Brody, I was eager to hear the first words to come out of his mouth this time.

And, guess what? He didn't disappoint.

"BULL SHIT!"

Sigh.

Only my husband.

I'd post photos and videos of this epic event, but unfortunately on Friday, my phone decided to stop working and I lost them all. No I didn't back up. I hate that shit. Takes forever. Those precious moments captured are lost forever I suppose. My fault. FML.

Best,

Pregnancy Sucks

I say it all in the title--pregnancy sucks.

For those of you freaks of nature who say they loved being pregnant, I call "bull shit" or you had quite possibly one of the easiest pregnancies ever. And if it's the latter, then I really just want to flip you off right now.

I know it sounds harsh. But listen, when you're throwing up 4-6 times a day, you're nauseated 24/7 (and it never goes away) and you're battling allergies, daily headaches and nothing ever sounds good enough to eat, you'd be flipping people off too.

I mean I really hoped this pregnancy would be better than my first, just so I could enjoy it more. The first time around you're nervous, all of this is new, and you worry about everything--or maybe that was just me. But this time I wanted to love it and really enjoy it because it might be my last pregnancy, I don't know.

But this pregnancy has been brutal.

At every week I've hoped the nausea would vanish, but I'm 17 weeks pregnant and I've been so so so nauseated every day, I can barely function. And it seemed even last week it was getting worse. I was becoming more nauseated in the morning and at night, gagging before my feet hit the floor and before I took all 5 million pills I have to take (fuck you giant prenatal vitamins). Not only that my heartburn has been brutal. Getting sick while you have heartburn freaking hurts. I'm afraid all this barfing is going to damage my esophagus.

The heat doesn't help. There is nothing specifically that makes me sick food-wise. Nothing sounds good.  Well the only thing that sounded good was chicken alfredo from Olive Garden--which I've probably had an embarrassing 20 times in the past two months.

But hey, if it makes me feel OK and it's the one thing I haven't gotten sick on, make me a fatty and give me all 1500 calories of that pasta-goodness.

It wouldn't be so bad if it was something specific or if it was only in the mornings or at night. But being nauseated all damn day, feeling like if I don't eat fast enough I might get sick, living in fear if I eat something different I might get sick, trying to figure out what to eat when nothing sounds good before I get sick. I'm just tired of paying for food and throwing it up.

Needless to say the nausea has been so bad, I barely get on my phone to get on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, because it makes me sick. So being on the computer blogging has been on the bottom of my list. Sorry guys. I feel like I'm losing momentum and I was so pumped about this blog a few months ago.

But if I'm being honest, it's not just the nausea that has gotten me down, there's more going on with this pregnancy.

Well first off, I have chronic high blood pressure. I had been doing well since I lost weight last year and not needed my BP meds, but the doc put me back on them and I have to take them twice a day. High BP puts me at risk for toxemia again and I don't want to have to be on magnesium like I was when I was in labor with Brody. It makes you feel terrible (migraine, feels like you have a fever, catheter before epidural, nausea).

So that's a disappointment. I'll just be crossing my fingers that taking the BP meds keeps me away from the toxemia/magnesium during labor.

The other thing is something I wasn't real sure I wanted to talk about on here because it could be a big deal, and it could not.

There is a hormone in the placenta called PAPP-A. Mine is significantly low, which means I will need regular sonos to ensure the baby is growing as it should. Basically from what I understand about it is that as the baby gets bigger, as I progress throughout my pregnancy, the weak placenta could make it difficult for the baby to continue to grow. If that happens, then we will deliver early.

Luckily, I found out from my doc that most of the time you don't see this happen until the third trimester. That makes me feel a little better. And who knows, maybe everything will be fine? I'm trying my best not to think about this stuff right now. I know it will upset me.

All I can say is that I'm so thankful for my family.

My husband who has burst into the ladies' room at restaurants to be with me as I'm getting sick, dropping everything to be with me every time I'm run to the bathroom in a hurry, comforting me every time I stand up after an episode in tears, making me lay down when I start to feel really bad, and taking me to Olive Garden to eat to make me feel better. I really won the lottery with him. He's so good to me and Brody. He's cooked dinner a lot lately because making food makes me nauseous, even after a hard day at work. I love that man so much. He will never know just how much I love him.

My Brody. He's been there when Daddy's at work, sitting there with me and rubbing my back when I get sick. "You feel sick, mama? Dada be home in a minute," he says not really knowing when Klay will be home but he knows that Dada will try to fix it. He cuddles with me when he knows I don't feel good, and he helps me by bringing me joy at the times I need it most. My little guy.

My mom who has listened to me bitch about this nausea everyday for the past 15 weeks. She's called everyday to check on me. She even came over to help me clean the house. She's helped me with Brody when I needed a break, especially when Klay was gone for three weeks working. She's taken me to Olive Garden, bought me to-go meals from Olive Garden so I wouldn't have to cook or worry about food, and then taken Brody home to stay the night with her so I could get some rest. Thanks mom. I love you more than you'll every know!

My sister, my dad and even my bro-in-law have even helped out too. My sister found some nausea bracelets and brought them to me in hopes that they would help. My dad came to pick me and Brody up one day because Klay was away working and took me to their house because I was so sick I couldn't drive. And my bro-in-law has brought Brody home from my mom's house so I wouldn't have to drive out there to get him. Thanks to them and all of my family for being there when I need it!

Thankfully, I'm happy to report the past four days I've felt so much better. The nausea has eased up quite a bit, so I'm not as nauseated throughout the day. I cooked three nights this week and I've feel about 50 percent better than I did. At least I feel much better than I have in such a long time, I forgot what feeling good feels like.

I'm hoping the extreme nausea has gone away for good, but I'd honestly be happy with just a few good days a week at this point.

Hence, that's why I'm writing right now! I feel good enough to be on the computer--maybe this will be my comeback to the blogosphere yet again.

I guess only time will tell.

Best,