How I found out I was pregnant...again

If you haven't read my first pregnancy stories, you should do so here and here. Because some of the things I say may confuse you had you not already read them.

Let me start off by saying this was just as much as a surprise as our first.

We weren't trying. We were definitely practicing, but we weren't trying to have a second child just yet.

Let me just jump right in.

Ok. So what was the tell-tell sign this time? Sore boobs. Late period. The usual.

I did pee a lot but I already pee a lot so not a huge difference there.

I'd honestly thought I was pregnant earlier this year, but it turned out I was just late or completely forgot when my last period was and I thought I was late, only I was really on-time.

Needless to say, because of that scare, I was pretty sure I was just thinking I might be pregnant and then it would turn out I was wrong... again. I remembered I had two pregnancy tests stashed away from earlier this year, so early Saturday morning on Memorial weekend, I got up before the boys and took the test.

I was thinking "take the test, it will say negative and you can relax."

What I wasn't expecting was for it to come back and say "Nah, bitch you pregnant." Ok it really didn't say that, but that's what it felt like.

I had the Clearblue tests that reads "pregnant" or "not pregnant". But after"pregnant" popped up on the tiny screen--and my heart fell into my stomach--a little timer on the side was still blinking like it wasn't finished calculating.

I sat there and waited.

"Maybe the 'not' will pop up," I thought.

PSH.

Little did I know I purchased the test which calculates how far along you are. Once the timer quit blinking, "2-3 weeks" showed up on the screen...

I sat on the floor and stared at the floor.

Klay was clueless, asleep in our bedroom. This time, unlike the first, he had no idea I was taking a test so I was a little nervous about how he'd react.

The timing didn't seem quite right to be pregnant again, but I suppose it never does.

I decided to take the second test, just to be sure. I mean I know if it says you are, you are. And if it says you're not, you still could be, but I thought "just take the second one, might as well."

So, I did.

Same result.

YOU'RE KNOCKED UP AGAIN.

I just sat and cried in disbelief. I just didn't feel I was ready.

I was trying to get back on track with losing weight and trying to find a job. And, this just complicates things again.

Plus, Klay and I had gotten into a little tiff the night before over something dumb like the dishes. Normally we hash things out before going to bed. It's kind of one of our "rules," we try not to go to sleep angry. But I was freaking tired and didn't feel like talking about the dishes so I fell asleep.

So I wasn't sure how he'd react the next morning.

Meanwhile, I tried to think of a clever way to tell him I was pregnant. So I decided to make breakfast and coffee before he got up and thought I'd write it on his coffee cup. Clever enough for short notice.

So I wrote "2nd White Baby on the way! Drink up!"

He got up when he heard me moving around pans in the kitchen.

The first thing he did was hug and kiss me--a sign to show me he'd moved on from the night before. I felt my shoulders relax with relief.

I made pancakes and had some fresh fruit on the side.

I had to tell him I made coffee and already had a coffee cup sat out for him. I turned it so the message I wrote on the cup was away from him.

But before that he asked me if I wanted coffee and I said "no." And then when it came time to eat,
I told him I'd eat in minute and that I wasn't that hungry.

And he picked up on the strange vibe I guess.

"What's going on with you? You don't want coffee or want to eat? Should I be worried? Did you poison my food?" he laughed, joking about our argument the night before.

"Well I do watch a lot of 'Snapped,' but I wouldn't poison your food, it would be too obvious," I said trying to play it off.

"I'll eat," I said. "Just don't give me those two pancakes on the top. Those are for you," I joked.

Since our kitchen table was still outside we were eating on the floor.

It took him about 45 minutes to notice the message on the coffee cup.

I was waiting to see how he'd react. I had my phone ready so I could grab and record when he finally noticed the message.

Since his first words were "WTF" when we found out I was pregnant with Brody, I was eager to hear the first words to come out of his mouth this time.

And, guess what? He didn't disappoint.

"BULL SHIT!"

Sigh.

Only my husband.

I'd post photos and videos of this epic event, but unfortunately on Friday, my phone decided to stop working and I lost them all. No I didn't back up. I hate that shit. Takes forever. Those precious moments captured are lost forever I suppose. My fault. FML.

Best,

That time I found out I was pregnant

You know how you imagined the way it would feel to announce that you're pregnant to the man of your dreams?

The romance music is playing as he picks you up and swings you around in circles elated by the news. You imagine yourself being the happiest woman on earth.

Well that's how it happened for me. Music played, Klay swung me around in circles, and we laughed in excitement about our new bundle of joy.

UM.
PSH.

YEAH RIGHT.

To be honest, it didn't even come close.

And no, before you get any ideas, this isn't a post to announce that I'm currently pregnant. My uterus is empty and I like that way--for now. ;)

Let me take you back to the year 2011.

We had been married for four years and just moved home from Alaska. He had just transitioned from active duty Air Force to the Reserves so we could be closer to home to raise a family one day; "one day" meaning a year or two later.

We'd wrapped up our 17-day trip from Alaska to Texas (documented on this blog for you newbies)... and had only been back in Texas for about a month or so.

And, we were living with my parents.

Yes, my parents.

BUT we were searching for a place of our own.

Well, I stopped taking the pill because it was making me have my menstrual for two weeks. #aintnobodygottimeforthat

Seriously my lady problems are going to be the death of me.

SO, I'd planned on going back to the doctor to sort out my birth control options once we got things settled in at my parents' place.

Let's fast forward to the beginning of July.

I started not feeling so great. I felt different than I ever had before. I mean there were a few times I thought I was pregnant in the past, when we lived in Alaska, but I'd get my period and it would be done. #phewthatwasclose

But this time it was very, very different. Everything in my body was screaming that something wasn't off. From my sore boobs and constipation to being late, I just knew I was knocked up.

I told Klay this and he gave me that "Oh, I've heard this before" look and shrugged it off.

I'd reply, "No, I know I'm pregnant, I know it this time. I know it."

Of course I got online to google "menstrual cycle" and checked out the graphics to try to determine if we had sex when I was ovulating. We had, so that only confirmed that I was, at least in my mind.

My parents had gone out of town for the weekend to Oklahoma, so we had the house to ourselves.

So I left early one morning and headed to CVS to buy a pregnancy test. I opted for the Clearblue test that actually says "pregnant or not pregnant." I didn't want some little double lines confusing me when I took the test. #spellitoutforme

I came back, took the test and set it on the counter.

I walked in the kitchen to throw away the CVS bag, and went straight back to the bathroom and I saw the word...

"PREGNANT"

#readitandweep

My heart pounded as I couldn't believe what I'd read.

I walked out of the bathroom in tears with the test in-hand.
Klay looks at me trying to gauge my reaction.

He knew I was taking the test and the first words out of his mouth once he sees my face is:
"You're not?"

Um.
NO.
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS.

WHY ELSE WOULD I BE CRYING?

"Really? I'm pregnant," I said.

"Nuh-uh. You're lying," he walked toward me now with some umph in his step.

"Look at it," I handed the test to him.

He grabbed it and stared.
His eyes widened.
He didn't smile or laugh or pick me up and swing me around.
He just stared.

He was clearly as rattled as I was.

The next three words that came out of his mouth weren't exactly the words I thought I would hear when I told my husband I was pregnant.

He uttered three words.

Three little words that weren't as beautiful as the image I had engrained in my head on the way this whole pregnancy announcement would go.

He said:




What the F**K.



Do you have a good pregnancy announcement story? I want to hear it.