PART Two: That Time I Found Out I Was Pregnant

Read "That Time I Found Out I was Pregnant" first.

Brody @ 9 weeks

WTF is right. 

Now wasn't exactly the time I wanted to be pregnant.

We had just moved home. Yes, we were married for four years at that point, but we were living at my parents' house trying to find us some new digs.

But this meant I got knocked up in parents' house, as a married woman, and I'd be searching for a home with a deadline now; I'd definitely want to be in the house before the baby was born.

In shock, and after his "WTF" moment, Klay and I sat on separate couches and didn't talk or touch for 20 minutes. We'd done enough of all that.

We were stunned. We couldn't believe this was really happening.

I called my sister bawling. She calmed me down and assured me things would be OK. She guessed it before I ever said anything. Not sure how she knew. Well, I'm guessing the crying tipped her off.

We decided we were going to tell Klay's parents first. Their excitement would take away some of my worry when I told my mom and dad.

Yes, I was worried about what they'd say because we were living in their house, looking for a new place to live, and this wasn't exactly planned. Plus, now we had a time constraint to find the right house for the right price and move in and prepare the baby's room all in a matter of months.

I decided I wanted to find a cute way to announce it to both our parents. Klay's parents were up first.

My PLAN: Put a few balloons in a box and give it to his parents. When they opened it, the balloons would float up and say "Baby" and/or "Congrats" so they knew they were going to be grandparents.

And then, I thought, I'll get a plain balloon and write "Baby On The Way!" Genius, right?

I know, people do this all the time now for gender reveals, but this was waaaaayyyy before I got on Pinterest and became a pinning-whore. So at least I thought it was "genius."

Klay and I go to CVS. I'm still a complete basket case, and I nervously purchase three balloons, hoping no one we know sees us.

Here are the balloons I bought:

1. "Congrats" 
2. "Baby"
3. And a plain one

I asked the fella that worked there for a marker and I wrote on them (while they're not inflated).

On the "Congrats" balloon, I write "grandparents" underneath the word "Congrats".

Then I started to write on the plain one.

Our last name is White for those you who don't know.

I'm a nervous wreck and scared someone we know will walk in and see what we are doing. So I'm trying to get this done as soon as possible.

I thoughtlessly wrote "White Baby On The Way!"

The guy who is about to blow up the balloons is Hispanic. He looks at it confused and looks up at me, like WTF?

Then it hit me.

"Oh. Oh, no! White is our last name," I shouted trying to rectify myself.

Klay laughed at me as the guy shook his head and went to blow up the balloons.

#lastnameproblems

The last balloon I corrected and wrote "Baby White on the way!"

Either way, it was true. Baby White was on the way and we were having a white baby.

At least, we hoped Klay was the father.

HA! I kid, I kid.

Needless to say, his parents got a good laugh and everyone else at my expense.

We did the same thing with my parents except I put the right wording on the balloons this time so it didn't look like I was announcing the color of our unborn baby's skin. Um, I can only imagine what that guy thought when he saw my balloons...

PS. My mom and dad were happy when we announced it to them too. All of that worry was for nothin'...

And that's how I handled finding out I was pregnant.

EPIC FAIL.

Do you have any mishaps when you tried to announce you were knocked up?

That time I found out I was pregnant

You know how you imagined the way it would feel to announce that you're pregnant to the man of your dreams?

The romance music is playing as he picks you up and swings you around in circles elated by the news. You imagine yourself being the happiest woman on earth.

Well that's how it happened for me. Music played, Klay swung me around in circles, and we laughed in excitement about our new bundle of joy.

UM.
PSH.

YEAH RIGHT.

To be honest, it didn't even come close.

And no, before you get any ideas, this isn't a post to announce that I'm currently pregnant. My uterus is empty and I like that way--for now. ;)

Let me take you back to the year 2011.

We had been married for four years and just moved home from Alaska. He had just transitioned from active duty Air Force to the Reserves so we could be closer to home to raise a family one day; "one day" meaning a year or two later.

We'd wrapped up our 17-day trip from Alaska to Texas (documented on this blog for you newbies)... and had only been back in Texas for about a month or so.

And, we were living with my parents.

Yes, my parents.

BUT we were searching for a place of our own.

Well, I stopped taking the pill because it was making me have my menstrual for two weeks. #aintnobodygottimeforthat

Seriously my lady problems are going to be the death of me.

SO, I'd planned on going back to the doctor to sort out my birth control options once we got things settled in at my parents' place.

Let's fast forward to the beginning of July.

I started not feeling so great. I felt different than I ever had before. I mean there were a few times I thought I was pregnant in the past, when we lived in Alaska, but I'd get my period and it would be done. #phewthatwasclose

But this time it was very, very different. Everything in my body was screaming that something wasn't off. From my sore boobs and constipation to being late, I just knew I was knocked up.

I told Klay this and he gave me that "Oh, I've heard this before" look and shrugged it off.

I'd reply, "No, I know I'm pregnant, I know it this time. I know it."

Of course I got online to google "menstrual cycle" and checked out the graphics to try to determine if we had sex when I was ovulating. We had, so that only confirmed that I was, at least in my mind.

My parents had gone out of town for the weekend to Oklahoma, so we had the house to ourselves.

So I left early one morning and headed to CVS to buy a pregnancy test. I opted for the Clearblue test that actually says "pregnant or not pregnant." I didn't want some little double lines confusing me when I took the test. #spellitoutforme

I came back, took the test and set it on the counter.

I walked in the kitchen to throw away the CVS bag, and went straight back to the bathroom and I saw the word...

"PREGNANT"

#readitandweep

My heart pounded as I couldn't believe what I'd read.

I walked out of the bathroom in tears with the test in-hand.
Klay looks at me trying to gauge my reaction.

He knew I was taking the test and the first words out of his mouth once he sees my face is:
"You're not?"

Um.
NO.
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS.

WHY ELSE WOULD I BE CRYING?

"Really? I'm pregnant," I said.

"Nuh-uh. You're lying," he walked toward me now with some umph in his step.

"Look at it," I handed the test to him.

He grabbed it and stared.
His eyes widened.
He didn't smile or laugh or pick me up and swing me around.
He just stared.

He was clearly as rattled as I was.

The next three words that came out of his mouth weren't exactly the words I thought I would hear when I told my husband I was pregnant.

He uttered three words.

Three little words that weren't as beautiful as the image I had engrained in my head on the way this whole pregnancy announcement would go.

He said:




What the F**K.



Do you have a good pregnancy announcement story? I want to hear it.